Belong(roughdraft)

Intricate Insomnia · 08-12-2010, 03:30 AM

You've left behind all admonition,
Offering up no opposition,
Leaving your soul to demolition,
This fate, you did prolong.

And now the Judge; do you adverse.
Wandering through the prisons, cursed.
Memory's shards shall claim you first,
In this abyss where you belong.

Bridge}
Tick Tock, screams the wretched clock.
Tick Tock, it'll say, it'll mock..

Chorus}
Coming to terms with with what's been shown-
do you see where you belong?
Darling, it's a life alone.
And now we see that we were wrong,
Eternity is a life alone
Now accept where you belong!

2nd Verse
Through this drug, to Pain's embrace,
You fall under Purgatory's Grace.
The haunted reflect your motionless face.
The blood in your veins, long cold-
long gone.

Losing your mentality,
And facing your finality,
Walking through Insanity's Allies-
Me.
-To greet you, in the wrong.

(Bridge-)

Chorus}
Coming to terms that all we've known,
faded away to lies, now true.
And we watch our lives, cocked and blown-
Watch her kneel and cry to you-
AND NOW HER LIVE'S BEEN COCKED AND BLOWN!
And we accept where we belong!

(Instrumental while whispering Bridge in a rushed tone)
(drum solo, with bass entering slowly)

3ed verse.
And through the heavy tears I cry-
Thine rancid soul, I crucify.
And then, in Lucifer's arms, you'll lye-
Dear Child; where you belong. (2X)

Tick Tock, screams the wretched clock.
(Swallowing down this life alone- know where you belong!)
Tick Tock, it'll say, it'll mock..
(Oh, honey- Eternity's a life alone; know where you belong!)

(soft Lead and Melody guitar, with violin- building into instrumental, and then a pause-)
Now you know where you belong!
(drum solo, and cut.)

MusicMan · 08-12-2010, 03:08 PM

Good stuff. It's a little dark though.

ProjectLopez · 08-22-2010, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Intricate Insomnia

You've left behind all admonition,
Offering up no opposition,
Leaving your soul to demolition,
This fate, you did prolong.

And now the Judge; do you adverse.
Wandering through the prisons, cursed.
Memory's shards shall claim you first,
In this abyss where you belong.

Bridge}
Tick Tock, screams the wretched clock.
Tick Tock, it'll say, it'll mock..

Chorus}
(coming)

Through this drug, to Pain's embrace,
You fall under Purgatory's Grace.
The haunted reflect your motionless face.
The blood in your veins, long cold-
long gone.

Losing your mentality,
And facing your finality,
Walking through Insanity's Allies-
Me-
To greet you, in the wrong.

And through the heavy tears I cry-
Thine rancid soul, I crucify.
And then, in Lucifer's arms, you'll lye-
Dear Child; where you belong.

really love the choice of words

Intricate Insomnia · 09-04-2010, 09:09 PM

Few... finished? Please cretique?

MusicMan · 09-05-2010, 02:49 AM

AND NOW HER LIVE'S BEEN COCKED AND BLOWN!

Should be "life's", and I personally think you could choose better words than "cocked and blown".

Intricate Insomnia · 09-05-2010, 04:54 PM

Yeah... I was just thinking that... So I'm rolling it over in my head. Hmmm....

Redo:

You've left behind all admonition,
Offering up no opposition,
Leaving your soul to demolition,
This fate, you did prolong.

And now the Judge; do you adverse.
Wandering through the prisons, cursed.
Memory's shards shall claim you first,
In this abyss where you belong.

Bridge}
Tick Tock, screams the wretched clock.
Tick Tock, it'll say, it'll mock..

Chorus}
Coming to terms with with what's been shown-
do you see where you belong?
Darling, it's a life alone.
And now we see that we were wrong,
Eternity is a life alone
Now accept where you belong!

2nd Verse
Through this drug, to Pain's embrace,
You fall under Purgatory's Grace.
The haunted reflect your motionless face.
The blood in your veins, long cold-
long gone.

Losing your mentality,
And facing your finality,
Walking through Insanity's Allies-
Me.
-To greet you, in the wrong.

(Bridge-)

Chorus}
Coming to terms that all we've known,
faded away to lies, now true.
And we watch our lives screamed in this tone-
Watch her kneel and cry to you-
AND NOW HER LIFE ENDS IN THIS TONE!
-And we accept where we belong!

(Instrumental while whispering Bridge in a rushed tone)
(drum solo, with bass entering slowly)

3ed verse.
And through the heavy tears I cry-
Thine rancid soul, I crucify.
And then, in Lucifer's arms, you'll lye-
Dear Child; where you belong. (2X)

Tick Tock, screams the wretched clock.
(Swallowing down this life alone- know where you belong!)
Tick Tock, it'll say, it'll mock..
(Oh, honey- Eternity's a life alone; know where you belong!)

(soft Lead and Melody guitar, with violin- building into instrumental, and then a pause-)
Now you know where you belong!
(drum solo, and cut.)

...better?

Stringbender · 09-12-2010, 04:10 AM

VERY cool! Maybe it's because I am presently reading Milton (among the towering stack I flip between) or perhaps it is my own "coming to terms with what's been shown"..but I am totally relating to and understanding each word you have written. I'm hearing the vocals (in my mind) at times done in some sort of a two part harmony.. but think maybe a little good old crunchy heavy guitar would work well with the lyrics.. but that's just my biased vision.

Intricate Insomnia · 09-20-2010, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringbender

VERY cool! Maybe it's because I am presently reading Milton (among the towering stack I flip between) or perhaps it is my own "coming to terms with what's been shown"..but I am totally relating to and understanding each word you have written. I'm hearing the vocals (in my mind) at times done in some sort of a two part harmony.. but think maybe a little good old crunchy heavy guitar would work well with the lyrics.. but that's just my biased vision.

Hmmm... I like the two part harmony idea. I'm thinking, a soft alto, and then a strong tennor to back it up?

08-12-2010, 03:30 AM	#1
Intricate Insomnia The Whimsical Mistress of Thought Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: An interesting question, to be sure.. Posts: 58 Thanks: 2 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 31	You've left behind all admonition, Offering up no opposition, Leaving your soul to demolition, This fate, you did prolong. And now the Judge; do you adverse. Wandering through the prisons, cursed. Memory's shards shall claim you first, In this abyss where you belong. Bridge} Tick Tock, screams the wretched clock. Tick Tock, it'll say, it'll mock.. Chorus} Coming to terms with with what's been shown- do you see where you belong? Darling, it's a life alone. And now we see that we were wrong, Eternity is a life alone Now accept where you belong! 2nd Verse Through this drug, to Pain's embrace, You fall under Purgatory's Grace. The haunted reflect your motionless face. The blood in your veins, long cold- long gone. Losing your mentality, And facing your finality, Walking through Insanity's Allies- Me. -To greet you, in the wrong. (Bridge-) Chorus} Coming to terms that all we've known, faded away to lies, now true. And we watch our lives, cocked and blown- Watch her kneel and cry to you- AND NOW HER LIVE'S BEEN COCKED AND BLOWN! And we accept where we belong! (Instrumental while whispering Bridge in a rushed tone) (drum solo, with bass entering slowly) 3ed verse. And through the heavy tears I cry- Thine rancid soul, I crucify. And then, in Lucifer's arms, you'll lye- Dear Child; where you belong. (2X) Tick Tock, screams the wretched clock. (Swallowing down this life alone- know where you belong!) Tick Tock, it'll say, it'll mock.. (Oh, honey- Eternity's a life alone; know where you belong!) (soft Lead and Melody guitar, with violin- building into instrumental, and then a pause-) Now you know where you belong! (drum solo, and cut.) __________________ "He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command." -The Prince Last edited by Intricate Insomnia : 09-04-2010 at 09:07 PM.

08-12-2010, 03:08 PM	#2
MusicMan "Without music, life would be a mistake." - Friedrich Nietzsche Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Inside your head Posts: 8,211 Thanks: 586 Thanked 555 Times in 476 Posts Rep Power: 500	Good stuff. It's a little dark though. __________________ Rules! A definite must-read The Music Showcase is the best place to share your music here, you can even embed Youtube videos. Send me a PM if you need any help with anything.

09-04-2010, 09:09 PM	#4
Intricate Insomnia The Whimsical Mistress of Thought Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: An interesting question, to be sure.. Posts: 58 Thanks: 2 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 31	Few... finished? Please cretique? __________________ "He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command." -The Prince

09-05-2010, 02:49 AM	#5
MusicMan "Without music, life would be a mistake." - Friedrich Nietzsche Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Inside your head Posts: 8,211 Thanks: 586 Thanked 555 Times in 476 Posts Rep Power: 500	AND NOW HER LIVE'S BEEN COCKED AND BLOWN! Should be "life's", and I personally think you could choose better words than "cocked and blown". __________________ Rules! A definite must-read The Music Showcase is the best place to share your music here, you can even embed Youtube videos. Send me a PM if you need any help with anything.

09-05-2010, 04:54 PM	#6
Intricate Insomnia The Whimsical Mistress of Thought Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: An interesting question, to be sure.. Posts: 58 Thanks: 2 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 31	Yeah... I was just thinking that... So I'm rolling it over in my head. Hmmm.... Redo: You've left behind all admonition, Offering up no opposition, Leaving your soul to demolition, This fate, you did prolong. And now the Judge; do you adverse. Wandering through the prisons, cursed. Memory's shards shall claim you first, In this abyss where you belong. Bridge} Tick Tock, screams the wretched clock. Tick Tock, it'll say, it'll mock.. Chorus} Coming to terms with with what's been shown- do you see where you belong? Darling, it's a life alone. And now we see that we were wrong, Eternity is a life alone Now accept where you belong! 2nd Verse Through this drug, to Pain's embrace, You fall under Purgatory's Grace. The haunted reflect your motionless face. The blood in your veins, long cold- long gone. Losing your mentality, And facing your finality, Walking through Insanity's Allies- Me. -To greet you, in the wrong. (Bridge-) Chorus} Coming to terms that all we've known, faded away to lies, now true. And we watch our lives screamed in this tone- Watch her kneel and cry to you- AND NOW HER LIFE ENDS IN THIS TONE! -And we accept where we belong! (Instrumental while whispering Bridge in a rushed tone) (drum solo, with bass entering slowly) 3ed verse. And through the heavy tears I cry- Thine rancid soul, I crucify. And then, in Lucifer's arms, you'll lye- Dear Child; where you belong. (2X) Tick Tock, screams the wretched clock. (Swallowing down this life alone- know where you belong!) Tick Tock, it'll say, it'll mock.. (Oh, honey- Eternity's a life alone; know where you belong!) (soft Lead and Melody guitar, with violin- building into instrumental, and then a pause-) Now you know where you belong! (drum solo, and cut.) ...better? __________________ "He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command." -The Prince

09-12-2010, 04:10 AM	#7
Stringbender Guitar Adept Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: whispered in dark corners Posts: 1,863 Thanks: 297 Thanked 236 Times in 203 Posts Rep Power: 174	VERY cool! Maybe it's because I am presently reading Milton (among the towering stack I flip between) or perhaps it is my own "coming to terms with what's been shown"..but I am totally relating to and understanding each word you have written. I'm hearing the vocals (in my mind) at times done in some sort of a two part harmony.. but think maybe a little good old crunchy heavy guitar would work well with the lyrics.. but that's just my biased vision. __________________ "personally..I take reviewing Lady Gaga's music the same as I would analyzing turds in the toilet bowl in hopes it will look like a Rembrandt." Only with the eyes closed can one begin to truly see.

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