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| Singing and Songwriting Discussion A forum for those who express themselves with their voice or writing talents. |
| Tags: lyrics |
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07-24-2009, 11:28 PM
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#1 |
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Angel of Death
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: in a state of pleasurable annihilation
Posts: 74
Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Rep Power: 10
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Everything I touch falls apart
Every time I'm happy I get burned Life just can't seem to work for me Why can't I just simply...LEAVE! MY LIFE'S FALLING APART I'm being ripped at the seams NEVER LOVED FROM THE START Only in my dreams WHY DON'T YOU SHOW ME How much you care? ONLY ONE WAY TO SEE Leave me for dead SHOW ME! Leave me for dead Everything I touch falls apart Every time I'm happy, I get burned Life just can't seem to work for me Why can't I just just simply LEAVE? THIS BROKEN CHILD HAS GROWN TODAY In my heart I cannot stay MAYBE IT'S JUST MY FATE There's no other way SO SERENE AND SILENT The battle is PLEASE DISRUPT THE SILENCE A love surely will LOVE ME To disrupt this pain Broken wings won't help me to fly away These shattered dreams are here to stay Maybe I can learn to live BROKEN! BATTERED! SHOW ME WHAT MATTERS! HELP ME to feel like Something's here Everything I touch falls apart Every time I'm happy I get burned Life just doesn't seem to work for me So this time I will leave What do you think?
__________________
 Nirvana means freedom from pain Suffering And the external world |
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07-25-2009, 03:42 AM
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#2 |
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Tie me up! Untie me!
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Coastal town, dislike the beach... -_-
Posts: 124
Thanks: 9 Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts Rep Power: 17
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I don't mean to offend you but I think you need to put more imagination into your lyrics. When writing about this kind of thing you need to incorporate more imagery and metaphors instead of brutal honesty. Not that honesty is always a bad thing I just think it needs to be done with this subject.
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07-27-2009, 03:28 PM
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#3 |
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Jerky guy who thinks he's a rocker...
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,280
Thanks: 79 Thanked 60 Times in 54 Posts Rep Power: 59
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Stickman is right, but very sad lyrics ya got there, cheer up kiddo!
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We walk without eyes, chained to these. We stand pseudo life, slaves to machines. http://www.myspace.com/prosedescry <--My new band!! |
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07-28-2009, 04:29 AM
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#4 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 24
Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 8
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just a little corrections about the song i guess... but most of the lyrics is okay. good luck!
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